What is domestic abuse?
“Abuse is a repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over an intimate partner. These are behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of abuse can be going on at any one time.” (“Abuse Defined”. The National Domestic Violence Hotline. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Aug. 2016.)
Sometimes, during a pregnancy, a troubled partner may turn to these types of behaviors. Do not wait until pregnancy to get help if you have reason to think signs of any of these behaviors are present. Use all the lists on this blog for help.
Call 911 if you are in immediate danger.
A relationship is abusive if your partner (for example: boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse) has a repetitive pattern with any of the following behaviors:
- Embarrassing you or making fun of you in front of your friends, family, or teachers.
- Putting down your accomplishments or goals.
- Controlling your finances against your will.
- Making you feel like he/she is smarter and that you are unable to make decisions.
- Using intimidation or threats to get his/her way.
- Telling you that you are nothing without him/her.
- Treating you roughly (for example: grabbing, pushing, pinching, shoving, or hitting you).
- Intimidating you with objects that could cause harm (for example: knives, belts, guns).
- Calling you several times a night or showing up unexpectedly to check on you.
- Using drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you.
- Blaming you for how he/she feels.
- Pressuring you sexually for things you are not ready for.
- Pressuring you to do self-harming things (for example: drugs, alcohol).
- Making you feel like there is no way out of the relationship.
- Hurting your pets or threatening to do so.
- Defacing or destroying your personal property.
- Preventing you from going or doing things you want with your friends or by yourself.
- Trying to keep you from leaving after a fight.
- Making you feel like everything that does not go right is your fault.
(“Abuse Defined”. The National Domestic Violence Hotline. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Aug. 2016.)
Domestic Violence Safety Tips:
- During an argument, or if you feel tension building, avoid areas in your home where weapons might be available (for example: the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, or workshops).
- If there are weapons in your household, such as firearms, lock them up.
- Know where there is a safe exit from your home (for example: a window, elevator, or stairwell).
- Discuss the situation with a trusted neighbor if you can. Ask him/her to call 911 if he/she hears a disturbance. Find a code word to use with them if you need the police.
- Always keep a packed bag ready.
- Know where you would go to be safe if you have to leave, even if you don’t really think you need to.
Resources in the Greenville, SC Area for Domestic Abuse Victims
- Safe Place South Carolina
- Julie Valentine Center
864-467-3633 (24/7 Crisis Hotline)
- Safe Harbor (shelter for women)
1-800-291-2139 (24-Hour Crisis Line)
- Greenville Rescue Mission (shelter for men)
- Shepherd’s Gate (shelter for women)
- The Salvation Army of Greenville County
- The Place of Hope