My girlfriend’s pregnant. Now what?
Hearing the news that you’ve created your first child is bound to result in some powerful emotions. Some of them usually include:
1. Shock
2. Disbelief
3. Denial
4. Fear
5. Anger
6. My future is ruined
7. I’m too young
8. I just want to escape
If you think your emotions are crazy—just stop and think about what your girlfriend is feeling—probably the same very emotions.
Before either of you panics, gets angry, or lays the blame, just remember that it took both of you to create this pregnancy and it will take both of you being informed and thinking clearly to make a plan for what happens next.
Here are some things you should do:
1. Stay calm
2. Start to talk about and research all of your options together
3. Support your girlfriend emotionally
4. Pull together; don’t pull apart
5. Let her know you’ll work this out together
Here are some things you don’t want to do:
1. Get angry
2. Shout at your girlfriend
3. Say things like, “It’s not mine!”, “You’ve ruined my life”, “My parents will kill me!” “You’ll have to get an abortion!”, “It’s your decision, not mine!”
4. Pressure her to have an abortion.
Common fears about telling your parents:
1. They’ll be furious
2. They may kill me
3. I’ve got to finish school
4. They have such high hopes for me
5. They’ll be so disappointed
A gameplan for telling your parents
Before telling your parents, think for yourselves. Get the facts and have a plan. Your parents will likely have similar emotions you did when they first hear. It will be less traumatic for them and for you if you get your act together and present a united rational picture with your girlfriend.
We can help you prepare the facts and have a plan when it is time to tell your parents. Our confidential workers have given advice for years to couples that have found themselves in similar situations. We can help you stay calm, and support you through this emotional time in your life.