Resources for Domestic Abuse Victims in the Greenville, SC Area

What is domestic abuse? 

“Abuse is a repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over an intimate partner. These are behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of abuse can be going on at any one time.” (“Abuse Defined”. The National Domestic Violence Hotline. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Aug. 2016.)

Sometimes, during a pregnancy, a troubled partner may turn to these types of behaviors. Do not wait until pregnancy to get help if you have reason to think signs of any of these behaviors are present. Use all the lists on this blog for help.

Call 911 if you are in immediate danger.

A relationship is abusive if your partner (for example: boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse) has a repetitive pattern with any of the following behaviors:

  • Embarrassing you or making fun of you in front of your friends, family, or teachers.
  • Putting down your accomplishments or goals.
  • Controlling your finances against your will.
  • Making you feel like he/she is smarter and that you are unable to make decisions.
  • Using intimidation or threats to get his/her way.
  • Telling you that you are nothing without him/her.
  • Treating you roughly (for example: grabbing, pushing, pinching, shoving, or hitting you).
  • Intimidating you with objects that could cause harm (for example: knives, belts, guns).
  • Calling you several times a night or showing up unexpectedly to check on you.
  • Using drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you.
  • Blaming you for how he/she feels.
  • Pressuring you sexually for things you are not ready for.
  • Pressuring you to do self-harming things (for example: drugs, alcohol).
  • Making you feel like there is no way out of the relationship.
  • Hurting your pets or threatening to do so.
  • Defacing or destroying your personal property.
  • Preventing you from going or doing things you want with your friends or by yourself.
  • Trying to keep you from leaving after a fight.
  • Making you feel like everything that does not go right is your fault.

(“Abuse Defined”. The National Domestic Violence Hotline. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Aug. 2016.)

Domestic Violence Safety Tips:

  • During an argument, or if you feel tension building, avoid areas in your home where weapons might be available (for example: the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, or workshops).
  • If there are weapons in your household, such as firearms, lock them up.
  • Know where there is a safe exit from your home (for example: a window, elevator, or stairwell).
  • Discuss the situation with a trusted neighbor if you can. Ask him/her to call 911 if he/she hears a disturbance. Find a code word to use with them if you need the police.
  • Always keep a packed bag ready.
  • Know where you would go to be safe if you have to leave, even if you don’t really think you need to.

Resources in the Greenville, SC Area for Domestic Abuse Victims

  • Safe Place South Carolina

safeplacesc.sc.gov

1-800-799-SAFE

  • Julie Valentine Center

www.julievalentinecenter.org

864-467-3633 (24/7 Crisis Hotline)

  • Safe Harbor (shelter for women)

www.safeharborsc.org

1-800-291-2139 (24-Hour Crisis Line)

  • Greenville Rescue Mission (shelter for men)

www.miraclehill.org/adult/rescue-mission-greenville/

864-242-6933

  • Shepherd’s Gate (shelter for women)

www.miraclehill.org/adult/shepherds-gate/

864-268-5589

  • The Salvation Army of Greenville County

www.salvationarmycarolinas.org

864-235-4803

  • The Place of Hope

www.united-ministries.org/place_of_hope.php

864-232-6463

Post-Abortion Distress in Women

When a woman has an unplanned pregnancy, she may experience fear, hopelessness, and even panic. Often she feels pressure from the father of the baby, her parents, family members, friends, the doctor, etc., to choose abortion. She may also feel pressure from her life circumstances: what about her job, her education, her finances?

A woman may choose abortion to solve the problems she anticipates. Abortion is rarely an easy or casual choice. Afterward, she may feel relieved that her problems are solved. However, the act meant to be a solution often produces its own agony. Many women feel their abortion negatively affected them emotionally, mentally, and/or spiritually.

Post-abortion distress is the damaging emotional/psychological symptoms and destructive behavior changes associated with a past abortion.

The following is a list of the most common emotional/psychological symptoms and behavioral changes. A woman may experience one or more of these symptoms after an abortion. The symptoms may surface immediately following the abortion or months, even years, later. Some women have spent decades living with symptoms of post-abortion distress. Women who are experiencing post-abortion distress need healing and support.

Emotional/Psychological Symptoms 

  • Guilt
  • Unable to “forgive herself”
  • Emotionally numb
  • Shame
  • Grief/Sorrow
  • Unworthiness
  • Self-condemnation
  • Feels degraded/debased
  • Anger/Rage
  • Depression
  • Anxiety/anguish
  • Loneliness
  • Bitterness
  • Confusion
  • Fears punishment
  • Regret/Remorse
  • Hopelessness
  • Helplessness
  • Panic
  • Frustration
  • Feels exploited
  • Self-hatred
  • Despair
  • Feels rejected
  • Horror
  • Fears/dreams about losing a child
  • Flashbacks and/or nightmares
  • Fears another pregnancy or infertility
  • Feels inferior
  • Fears failure

Behavioral Changes

  • Secretive
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Crying spells
  • Divides times into “before” and “after” the abortion
  • Avoids baby reminders
  • Reduced motivation
  • Loss of normal sources of pleasure
  • Self-punishing and/or self-degrading behavior
  • Develops eating disorders
  • Alcohol and/or drug abuse
  • Suicidal impulses
  • Promiscuity or frigidity
  • Loss of interest in sex
  • Marital stress
  • Abusive/tolerates abusive relationships
  • Withdraws from others
  • Difficulty with all types of intimacy
  • Changes in relationships
  • Wants replacement/atonement child
  • Damaged mother/child relationship
  • Over-protective of living children
  • Fails to bond with subsequent children
  • Cutting
  • Damaged feminine concept
  • Anniversary/Due date reaction

Piedmont Women’s Center offers a post-abortion support group for women. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you are not alone. Many women with an abortion in their past experience some level of post-abortion distress in their lifetime.

We can help. Please give us a call at 864-244-1434 or email us at ara@piedmontwomenscenter.org. It is safe, confidential, and supportive.

Post-Abortion Distress in Men

The decision to have an abortion does not affect women only.  Although post-abortion distress in men isn’t talked about because abortion is seen as a “woman’s choice,” men can also be wounded. Men play an important role in the decision to abort. An abortion can be a life-changing experience for a man.

There are various roles a man may fill in the abortion decision:

  • Some men willingly participate by agreeing, transporting and/or paying for it.
  • Others coerce by pressuring, by being verbally abusive, or even by violence.
  • Men can avoid the decision by literally abandoning the woman.
  • He may passively leave the choice to her without offering her support of any kind.
  • Some men strongly yet unsuccessfully try to stop the abortion, their opposition ignored.
  • Other men are unaware until afterward about the pregnancy and/or abortion.
  • No doubt, some never know about either one.
  • Fathers, male friends, brothers, uncles, and grandfathers may have some degree of involvement.
  • A man may be married to a woman with an abortion secret causing them relationship difficulties. He may or may not know of the past abortion.

Post-abortion distress is the damaging emotional/psychological symptoms and destructive behavior changes associated with a past abortion.

The following is a list of the most common emotional/psychological symptoms and behavioral changes in men after an abortion. A man may experience one or more of these symptoms. The symptoms may surface immediately following the abortion or months, even years, later. Some men have spent decades living with symptoms of post-abortion distress. Men who are experiencing post-abortion distress need healing and support.

Emotional/Psychological Symptoms 

  • Anger/rage
  • Anxiety
  • Feels like and fears failure
  • Confusion
  • Selfish
  • Low self-esteem
  • Helplessness
  • Worrying
  • Feels he deserves punishment
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Panic attacks
  • Feels irresponsible
  • Self-condemnation
  • Shame
  • Depression
  • Excessive guilt
  • Role confusion/emasculation
  • Grieves lost fatherhood
  • Powerlessness
  • Feels need for restitution
  • Self-loathing
  • Denial
  • Lack of resolve
  • Suicidal thoughts

Behavioral Changes

  • Frequent job changes
  • Lack of trust
  • Impotency
  • Sleep disturbance
  • Moody
  • Homosexual relationship
  • Risk taking
  • Attention deficit
  • Isolation/avoidance
  • Alcohol and drug abuse
  • Displaced male aggression
  • Withdrawn
  • Overly nurturing father
  • Lifestyle of covering up
  • Damaged marriage/relationships
  • Pornography
  • Addictions
  • Workaholic
  • Problems with commitment
  • Serial sexual relationships
  • Changed view of God
  • Image management
  • Violence
  • Blaming/shifts responsibility
  • Involved in pro-life cause

Piedmont Women’s Center offers a post-abortion support group for men. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you are not alone. Many men who have participated in an abortion experience some level of post-abortion distress in their lifetime.

We can help. Please give us a call at 864-244-1434 or email us at ara4men@gmail.com . It is safe, confidential, and supportive.

Men Start Recovery

The Healing a Father’s Heart Bible study is based on the premise that a genuine, permanent healing of post-abortion pain can only come when a man has come to grips with a more primary issue: his reconciliation to God.

One-on-one or in small, confidential groups men share their role in abortion experiences and explore Bible passages that show what God is really like and how He demonstrates compassion to men with abortion in their past. They also learn to apply Bible truths to symptoms such as emotional numbness, anger, depression, and grief.

If you are interested in speaking with someone about abortion recovery for men and the Healing a Father’s Heart Bible study, please call us at 864-244-1434 or email ara4men@gmail.com. It is safe, confidential, and supportive.

“Wonderful program. The study material is better than I would have ever imaged possible. Thank God for my facilitators!”

“I didn’t think I needed healing, but I did. God touched a part of me I didn’t realize was still broken and walled off. I’m changed.”

Women Start Recovery

The Forgiven and Set Free Bible study is based on the premise that a genuine, permanent healing of post-abortion pain can only come when a woman has come to grips with a more primary issue: her reconciliation to God.

In small, confidential groups women share their abortion experience and explore Bible passages that show what God is really like and how He demonstrates compassion to women.  They also learn to apply Bible truths to symptoms such as emotional numbness, anger, depression, and grief.

If you are interested in speaking with someone about abortion recovery for women and the Forgiven and Set Free Bible study, please call us at 864-244-1434 or email ara@piedmontwomenscenter.org. It is safe, confidential, and supportive.

“I had stuffed my memories and feelings about my abortion so far down in my consciousness I didn’t even realize how they had festered and polluted my life as well as my relationships with others. I am now healed! I’m grateful to the Lord for His grace and His blessing in my life.”

“I don’t know what my life would be like right now if not for this class. I thank God for this Bible study! I can be whole and strong now. I praise the Lord for showing me the way to you. It has changed my life, if not given me a whole new one. Thank you!”

“The lesson on depression did more for me in one week than 10 years of professional counseling.”

The following is a list of the most common emotional/psychological symptoms and behavioral changes. A woman may experience one or more of these symptoms after an abortion. The symptoms may surface immediately following the abortion or months, even years, later. Some women have spent decades living with symptoms of post-abortion distress. Women who are experiencing post-abortion distress need healing and support.

Emotional/Psychological Symptoms 

  • Guilt
  • Unable to “forgive herself”
  • Emotionally numb
  • Shame
  • Grief/Sorrow
  • Unworthiness
  • Self-condemnation
  • Feels degraded/debased
  • Anger/Rage
  • Depression
  • Anxiety/anguish
  • Loneliness
  • Bitterness
  • Confusion
  • Fears punishment
  • Regret/Remorse
  • Hopelessness
  • Helplessness
  • Panic
  • Frustration
  • Feels exploited
  • Self-hatred
  • Despair
  • Feels rejected
  • Horror
  • Fears/dreams about losing a child
  • Flashbacks and/or nightmares
  • Fears another pregnancy or infertility
  • Feels inferior
  • Fears failure

Behavioral Changes

  • Secretive
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Crying spells
  • Divides times into “before” and “after” the abortion
  • Avoids baby reminders
  • Reduced motivation
  • Loss of normal sources of pleasure
  • Self-punishing and/or self-degrading behavior
  • Develops eating disorders
  • Alcohol and/or drug abuse
  • Suicidal impulses
  • Promiscuity or frigidity
  • Loss of interest in sex
  • Marital stress
  • Abusive/tolerates abusive relationships
  • Withdraws from others
  • Difficulty with all types of intimacy
  • Changes in relationships
  • Wants replacement/atonement child
  • Damaged mother/child relationship
  • Over-protective of living children
  • Fails to bond with subsequent children
  • Cutting
  • Damaged feminine concept
  • Anniversary/Due date reaction

Piedmont Women’s Center offers a post-abortion support group for women. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you are not alone. Many women with an abortion in their past experience some level of post-abortion distress in their lifetime.

We can help. Please give us a call at 864-244-1434 or email us at ara@piedmontwomenscenter.org. It is safe, confidential, and supportive.